I only kidnapped one of them. chill
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
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