i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
