I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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