Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
