I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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