Don't you send me to vm
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
