So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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