you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
