Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
