I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
only you would photoshop your dick
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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