Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
