Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
