Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
