I wanna bring you to show and tell
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
