i would punch a child for taco bell
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
