Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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