Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
