thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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