my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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