No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
