He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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