hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
