so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
im holly from the hills drunk
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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