He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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