vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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