Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Randomize
