so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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