check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
