We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
