No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
