Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
