Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
