Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
please come you make the beer taste better
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
