I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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