You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Randomize
