Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
