If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
im drinking this country out of the recession.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Randomize
