Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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