Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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