We should be called the Road Head Warriors
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
