Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
