She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
