Moan for me like Helen Keller
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
