i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
