Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
He? As in you personified your dick?
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
