i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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