i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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