sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
