imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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