Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
