I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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