Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
its liver damage thursday
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
