Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
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